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The WORST Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Name: The WORST Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe
Prep time: 15 min
Cook time: 13 min
Total time: 58 min
Ingredients: 1 cup unsalted butter (melted and then cooled until no longer warm to the touch (see note) ); 1 ½ cups light brown sugar (firmly packed ); ½ cup granulated sugar; 2 large eggs (room temperature preferred); 1 teaspoon vanilla extract; ¼ cup maple syrup²; 3 ⅓ cups all purpose flour; 2 teaspoons cornstarch; 1 teaspoon baking powder; 1 teaspoon baking soda; 1 teaspoon salt; 2 cups chocolate chips (I used half regular semisweet chips and half mini semisweet chips)

By Sam MerrittUpdated Dec 19, 2024

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5,356 Comments

Servings: 32 large cookies

58 mins

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Go no further! While many have called these the best chocolate chip cookies, I assure you they are actually the worst, and this recipe might actually ruin your life.

Consider yourself warned.

Stack of cookies made from this chocolate chip cookie recipe with melty chocolate chips and a bite missing from the top cookie

The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies are the Worst

I can only assume that something must have gone horribly wrong to bring you here today.

Amidst a cherry-picked Pinterest Sea of “perfect chocolate chip cookies”, a Google Forest of the “best chocolate chip cookies”, and dog-eared cookbooks of “award winning” and your family favorites, you have somehow found yourself here, face-to-cookie with the actual worst chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking: It’s just a cookie, right?

I mean, sure, they look innocent enough. Golden with melty chocolate chips, crinkled edges and chewy, melt-in-your-mouth interiors… but one bite and you’re positively ruined for life.

These cookies will consume your life, shrink your jeans, and steal your boyfriend (I wouldn’t put it past them, anyway).

They even contain a secret ingredient.

A Secret Ingredient You’ll Wish You Never Discovered

chocolate chip cookie broken in half to show the inside, perched on a shotglass filled with the secret ingredient (maple syrup)

How obnoxiously cliche, and, even more obnoxiously, intriguing.

I won’t drag it out. The secret ingredient is maple syrup. And sure, pure maple syrup (priced per ounce nearly the same as gold) would work just wonderfully here. But, if you have a sticky bottle of Aunt Jemima in your cabinet (as I happened to when I set out on the unholy quest for a secret ingredient for the worst-but-should-be best chocolate chip cookies), that will work just fine, too.

What kind of self-respecting cookie doesn’t demand purity and quality?

Only the worst kind.

Ingredients (& Secret Ingredients)

I credit (or, rather, blame) this “secret ingredient” for being the greatest offender in this positively worst chocolate chip cookie recipe. It gives the cookies a subtle, caramelized flavor as well as long-lasting chewiness and softness (these cookies stay soft for days, and the cornstarch helps with that as well), and the flavor is other-worldly.

And, while anyone who takes a bite will be able to detect the extra richness of flavor, not a single taste-tester was able to identify exactly what the secret ingredient actually is. Just that they were enjoying “really, really good cookies”.

OK, so what’s so bad about really good chocolate chip cookies?

Overhead of the worst chocolate chip cookie on parchment paper on a wood surface, broken in half

How about the fact that they will consume you as you consume them? I’m not kidding about them wrecking your relationships.

Mom’s favorite chocolate chip cookie? Ditch it. You will snub your nose at every “favorite” cookie (chocolate chip or not) of the past and struggle to hold back scornful laughs at anyone who comments on their own personal best chocolate chip cookies. Nobody likes a cookie snob, and yet here you are.

Here comes that girl again, the one who’s too good for Chips Ahoy.

a glass bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough — The worst chocolate chip cookie dough

Be prepared for weight gain. It creeps up slowly, the cookies gently embracing you at first, then clinging to your thighs, your stomach, tighter and tighter until yoga pants are your only way out of the house. If you’re worried about your significant other noticing, don’t bother. They don’t notice anything anymore, only whether or not there are more chocolate chip cookies readily available for consumption.

Perhaps worst of all is that this recipe can be made so easily. There’s no stand mixer or even an electric hand-held one required. They can be stirred by hand, dirtying only two bowls.

They do need to chill for at least 30 minutes, which would only serve as a deterrent if 25 of those minutes weren’t spent sneaking copious chunks of cookie dough from the refrigerator.

Two chewy chocolate chip cookies on a dark backdrop

If you’ve made it this far, I fear it may already be too late for you.

It’s too late for me, sadly, and I’ve made these cookies nearly a dozen times in the past two weeks. I’m swapping gym time for cookie time to keep my refrigerator well-stocked with dough, and the photo shoot for this post took three times as long as it should have because I kept eating the subjects.

If you can, stick to the “best” chocolate chip cookies. Stick to Grandma’s chocolate chip cookie recipe and the old family favorites. Those cookies are safe, your friends, made to be consumed by you.

These cookies will consume you, instead.

Good luck out there. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why did my cookies spread too much?

Did you run into cookies that spread all over the baking sheet in the oven? Here are your most likely culprits:
The butter was too hot when you added your sugar, causing the sugar to melt and creating a greasy cookie dough that never stood a chance.
You didn’t add enough flour. If the flour was under-measured, your cookies could spread when baking.
Your baking powder/baking soda was bad. These need to be stored properly and often will expire after 6 months, if yours is old, that could be the problem.
The dough didn’t chill long enough. If your dough is still very sticky after 30 minutes, let it chill longer.
You put your cookie dough on a hot cookie sheet. It actually starts to melt before it can even begin baking.
If your cookies are spreading too much, you can try stirring in a bit more flour or just chilling them (covered) for longer.

Why didn’t my chocolate chip cookies spread in the oven?

It could be that your flour was over-measured. Never scoop your flour directly into your measuring cup, it packs the flour into the cup and you end up with way more than the recipe actually calls for. Instead, use a scale (this is the scale that I use) or use a spoon to pour the flour into your measuring cup and then level off the top with a straightedge (like the back of a knife).

Can I substitute something else for the maple syrup?

Honey or light or dark corn syrup would work instead of the syrup, just note that the flavor will be slightly different.

Why do you call them the “worst” instead of the best chocolate chip cookies?

Easily one of the most-asked questions that I get, I suspect those who ask this question were merely so distracted by the siren call of these cookies that they were unable to read the blog post. Just know that they would be the best chocolate chip cookies… if they didn’t turn you into a cookie obsessed monster at first bite.
If you’re looking for something a little tamer but still delicious, check out my best chocolate chip cookie recipe, instead.

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