Go no further, these chocolate chip cookies will ruin your life.
You have been warned.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
I can only assume something must have gone horribly wrong to bring you here today.
Amidst a cherry-picked Pinterest Sea of “perfect chocolate chip cookies” a Google Forest of “best ever chocolate chip cookies”, and dog-eared cookbooks of “award-winning” and family favorite chocolate chip cookie recipes, you have somehow found yourself here, face-to-cookie with the “worst” chocolate chip cookies.
I know what you’re probably thinking: It’s just a cookie, right? I mean, they look innocent enough, golden with melty chocolate chips, crinkled edges and melt-in-your-mouth interiors… but one bite and you’re ruined for life.
These cookies will consume your life, shrink your jeans, and steal your boyfriend (I wouldn’t put it past them, anyway).
They even contain a secret ingredient.
How obnoxiously cliché, and, even more obnoxiously, intriguing.
I won’t drag it out, the secret ingredient is maple syrup. Sure, pure maple syrup (priced per ounce nearly the same as gold) would be just wonderful. But, if you have a sticky bottle of Aunt Jemima in your cabinet (as I did), that will work just fine, too.
What kind of self-respecting cookie doesn’t demand purity and quality? Only the worst kind.
I credit this “secret ingredient” for being the greatest offender in this recipe. It gives the cookies a subtle, caramelized flavor, as well as long-lasting chewiness and softness (these cookies stay soft for days, the cornstarch also helps with that significantly), and the flavor is to die for.
And while anyone who takes a bite will be able to detect the extra richness of flavor, no one who I shared these cookies with was able to identify any sort of secret ingredient. Just “really, really, good cookies”.
OK, so what’s so bad about really really good cookies?
How to Ruin Your Life with Chocolate Chip Cookies
How about the fact that they will consume you as you consume them. I’m not kidding about them wrecking your relationships.
Mom’s favorite chocolate chip cookie? Ditch it. You will snub your nose at every “favorite” cookie of the past and struggle to hold back scornful laughs at anyone who comments on a “delicious cookie”. Nobody likes a cookie snob, but you will become one.
Here comes that girl again, the one who’s too good for Chips Ahoy.
Be prepared for weight gain. It creeps up slowly, the cookies gently embracing you at first, then clinging to your thighs, your stomach, tighter and tighter until yoga pants are your only way out of the house. If you’re worried about your significant other noticing, don’t bother. They don’t notice anything anymore, only whether or not there are more cookies readily available for consumption.
Perhaps worst of all is that these chocolate chip cookies can be made so easily. There’s no KitchenAid or any sort of electric hand mixer required to make these cookies. They can be stirred by hand, dirtying only two bowls.
They do need to chill for 30 minutes, which would only serve as a deterrent if 25 of those minutes weren’t spent sneaking copious chunks of dough from the refrigerator.
If you’ve made it this far, I fear it might already be too late for you.
It’s too late for me, unfortunately, and I’ve made these cookies nearly a dozen times in the past two weeks. I’m swapping gym time for cookie time to keep my fridge well-stocked with dough, and the photo shoot for this post took three times as long as it should have because I kept eating the subjects.
If you can, stick to the “best ever” cookies, stick to Grandma’s chocolate chip cookies and the family favorites. Those cookies are safe, they are your friends, made to be consumed by you.
These cookies will consume you, instead.
Good luck.
Treat yourself to a FREE E-BOOK!
Treat yourself to a FREE E-BOOK!
More Cookie Recipes You May Enjoy!
- Peanut Butter Cookies
- Oatmeal Cookies
- Easy Sugar Cookies
- Snickerdoodle Cookies
- Chocolate Chip Snowball Cookies
How to Make Chocolate Chip Cookies
The WORST EVER Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients
- 1 cup unsalted butter melted and then cooled for at least 5 minutes* (226g)
- 1 1/2 cups light brown sugar packed (300g)
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar (100g)
- 2 large eggs room temperature preferred
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/4 cup maple syrup (60ml)
- 3 1/4 cups all purpose flour (415g)
- 2 teaspoons cornstarch
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups chocolate chips I used half regular semisweet chips and half mini semisweet chips
Instructions
- In a large bowl, stir together melted butter and sugars.
- Add eggs, one at a time, stirring until combined.
- Stir in vanilla extract and maple syrup.
- In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
- Gradually add flour mixture to wet ingredients, stirring until completely combined.
- Stir in chocolate chips.
- Cover bowl with clear wrap and allow to chill for at least 30 minutes (chilling!? I told you, this recipe is the worst.)
- While the dough is chilling, preheat oven to 350F (175C) and prepare cookie sheets by lining with parchment paper (if you don't have parchment paper, you can bake directly on an ungreased cookie sheet).
- Scoop about 2-2 1/2 Tablespoons of cookie dough and roll into balls, making them slightly taller than they are wide. Place them at least 2 inches apart on prepared cookie sheet.
- Bake about 13 minutes (cookies will appear to be a bit underdone, but edges should be just beginning to turn golden brown).
- Allow cookies to cool completely on cookie sheet. If desired, gently press a few chocolate chips on top of the hot cookies.
- Keep unbaked cookie dough in fridge while waiting to put the next batch in the oven, and do not place cookie dough on a hot cookie sheet.
Video
Notes
Why Did My Chocolate Chip Cookies Spread Too Much?
Did you run into cookies that spread all over the baking sheet in the oven? Here are your most likely culprits:- The butter was too hot when you added your sugar, causing the sugar to melt and creating a greasy cookie dough that never stood a chance.
- You didn't add enough flour. If the flour was under-measured, your cookies could spread when baking.
- Your baking powder/baking soda was bad. These need to be stored properly and often will expire after 6 months, if yours is old, that could be the problem.
- The dough didn't chill long enough. If your dough is still very sticky after 30 minutes, let it chill longer.
- You put your cookie dough on a hot cookie sheet. It actually starts to melt before it can even begin baking.
- Your oven temperature is incorrect. Make sure the oven is fully preheated and at the correct temperature before baking your cookies. Many ovens do not report their temperatures correctly and run hotter or colder than they indicate. I purchased two inexpensive oven thermometers that I keep in my oven to make sure the temperature is right.
Why Did My Chocolate Chip Cookies Not Spread In the Oven?
Did your cookies not spread at all? Did they stay in balls even after baking? This might be the reason:- Flour was over-measured. It's so easy to over-measure flour, especially when using cups rather than weight measurements. Never scoop your flour directly into your measuring cup, it packs the flour into the cup and you end up with way more than the recipe actually calls for. Instead, use a scale (this is the scale that I use) or use a spoon to pour the flour into your measuring cup and then level off the top with a straightedge (like the back of a knife).
- Your oven temperature could be incorrect. See above note, just as it can cause your cookies to spread too much, it can cause them to not spread enough!
Nutrition
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I originally published this chocolate chip cookie recipe 3/21/16. I am re-sharing it today with a new photo and a new video and some additional notes that I’m hoping will be helpful. While I’d like to update all of my photos, they’ve become so well-known that I have chosen not to replace all of them at this time.
Garrett says
When I bake these they seem to be a bit too cakey which is a problem I have never had before this recipe. Not that anyone complains since it still taste like an addicting chocolate cookie.
Sam says
Hi Garrett! If they are cakey, most of the time the problem is having too much flour. I’m glad everyone still enjoys them. 🙂
PirateJenny says
I recently came up with a secret non-ingredient: I leave out the baking powder (and/or soda). I noticed most recipes only call for a 1/2 teaspoon or so–which doesn’t seem like it would make *that* much difference, texture-wise, in such a rich recipe–but I can always TASTE it, and I find it unpleasant. I’m not really looking for a FLUFFY cookie here, haha! Chewy, fudgy, & dense choc chip cookies are just fine with me.
norman dela cruz says
i’ve just watched your video and i want to try your worst ever choco chip cookie recipe…but im just worried,because im using a small electric oven(18L)…any suggestions?thanks a bunch…
Sam says
Hi Norman! They should still bake the same way if you can get the oven to the proper temperature. You may have to do a few more batches if they don’t fit in the oven. 🙂
PirateJenny says
Hi, I have a small electric oven, and I (1) lower the heat 50 degrees (mine in also a convection oven), and (2) don’t put any dough in the corners or too close to the edge of the tray–those areas tend to brown or burn very fast. Unfortunately this means I can only do very small batches, but there’s less waste since I’m not throwing away burnt cookies.
Alison Angel says
This recipe looks great. Can’t wait to give it a try for the holiday. Can you give me a tip on how to store finished cookies so they keep their integrity?
Thanks
Sam says
Hi Alison! They keep for about a week (if they last that long 😂) in an air tight container at room temperature. Enjoy! 🙂
PirateJenny says
I’m not 100% sure what you mean by “integrity”, but perhaps you mean “keep them from bending & breaking”? If so, then I’d say don’t pile them on top of each other; store cookies in a single layer; or put several pieces of waxed or parchment paper* in between so they don’t stick to and droop over each other; or tray-freeze them, wrap them up well, and take them out as needed.
(*Or even something more supportive, such as paper plates or a cut-up cereal box; in which case I would do waxed paper, paper plate, waxed paper.)
Irene Lane says
Hi Sam,
I am going to make your worst chocolate chip cookie recipe. I watched your video and you mentioned a scale that you purchased, but I could not find any information on what kind of scale and brand. Would you please e-mail me that information so I can purchase one.
Thank You.
Irene
P.S. I promise I will send a comment after I make them.
Sam says
Hi Irene! This is the scale that I use and love, I just added a link in the recipe notes as well. I hope that helps and I hope you love the cookies!! 🙂
Emily says
Hey! About to try your recipe and am wondering if you have ever frozen either the dough balls to cook later, or the completed cookies. I am the type to eat a whole batch if they’re sitting on the counter and am wondering if I could store them somehow. Thanks!
Sam says
Hi Emily! I actually have some frozen dough balls in my freezer right now! You never know when you need a cookie! 🙂 I usually wrap each ball of dough individually and then store them in a ziploc bag. Enjoy!
Alissa says
Hi Sam,
If you freeze the dough balls for future baking, do you alter the oven temp or baking time or do you just move some into the refrigerator until thawed?
Thanks!
Sam says
You can certainly freeze dough balls for future baking. You can bake the frozen dough balls, they just may need another minute or two. 🙂