Go no further, these chocolate chip cookies will ruin your life.
You have been warned.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
I can only assume something must have gone horribly wrong to bring you here today.
Amidst a cherry-picked Pinterest Sea of “perfect chocolate chip cookies” a Google Forest of “best ever chocolate chip cookies”, and dog-eared cookbooks of “award-winning” and family favorite chocolate chip cookie recipes, you have somehow found yourself here, face-to-cookie with the “worst” chocolate chip cookies.
I know what you’re probably thinking: It’s just a cookie, right? I mean, they look innocent enough, golden with melty chocolate chips, crinkled edges and melt-in-your-mouth interiors… but one bite and you’re ruined for life.
These cookies will consume your life, shrink your jeans, and steal your boyfriend (I wouldn’t put it past them, anyway).
They even contain a secret ingredient.
How obnoxiously cliché, and, even more obnoxiously, intriguing.
I won’t drag it out, the secret ingredient is maple syrup. Sure, pure maple syrup (priced per ounce nearly the same as gold) would be just wonderful. But, if you have a sticky bottle of Aunt Jemima in your cabinet (as I did), that will work just fine, too.
What kind of self-respecting cookie doesn’t demand purity and quality? Only the worst kind.
I credit this “secret ingredient” for being the greatest offender in this recipe. It gives the cookies a subtle, caramelized flavor, as well as long-lasting chewiness and softness (these cookies stay soft for days, the cornstarch also helps with that significantly), and the flavor is to die for.
And while anyone who takes a bite will be able to detect the extra richness of flavor, no one who I shared these cookies with was able to identify any sort of secret ingredient. Just “really, really, good cookies”.
OK, so what’s so bad about really really good cookies?
How to Ruin Your Life with Chocolate Chip Cookies
How about the fact that they will consume you as you consume them. I’m not kidding about them wrecking your relationships.
Mom’s favorite chocolate chip cookie? Ditch it. You will snub your nose at every “favorite” cookie of the past and struggle to hold back scornful laughs at anyone who comments on a “delicious cookie”. Nobody likes a cookie snob, but you will become one.
Here comes that girl again, the one who’s too good for Chips Ahoy.
Be prepared for weight gain. It creeps up slowly, the cookies gently embracing you at first, then clinging to your thighs, your stomach, tighter and tighter until yoga pants are your only way out of the house. If you’re worried about your significant other noticing, don’t bother. They don’t notice anything anymore, only whether or not there are more cookies readily available for consumption.
Perhaps worst of all is that these chocolate chip cookies can be made so easily. There’s no KitchenAid or any sort of electric hand mixer required to make these cookies. They can be stirred by hand, dirtying only two bowls.
They do need to chill for 30 minutes, which would only serve as a deterrent if 25 of those minutes weren’t spent sneaking copious chunks of dough from the refrigerator.
If you’ve made it this far, I fear it might already be too late for you.
It’s too late for me, unfortunately, and I’ve made these cookies nearly a dozen times in the past two weeks. I’m swapping gym time for cookie time to keep my fridge well-stocked with dough, and the photo shoot for this post took three times as long as it should have because I kept eating the subjects.
If you can, stick to the “best ever” cookies, stick to Grandma’s chocolate chip cookies and the family favorites. Those cookies are safe, they are your friends, made to be consumed by you.
These cookies will consume you, instead.
Good luck.
Treat yourself to a FREE E-BOOK!
Treat yourself to a FREE E-BOOK!
More Cookie Recipes You May Enjoy!
- Peanut Butter Cookies
- Oatmeal Cookies
- Easy Sugar Cookies
- Snickerdoodle Cookies
- Chocolate Chip Snowball Cookies
How to Make Chocolate Chip Cookies
The WORST EVER Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients
- 1 cup unsalted butter melted and then cooled for at least 5 minutes* (226g)
- 1 1/2 cups light brown sugar packed (300g)
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar (100g)
- 2 large eggs room temperature preferred
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/4 cup maple syrup (60ml)
- 3 1/4 cups all purpose flour (415g)
- 2 teaspoons cornstarch
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups chocolate chips I used half regular semisweet chips and half mini semisweet chips
Instructions
- In a large bowl, stir together melted butter and sugars.
- Add eggs, one at a time, stirring until combined.
- Stir in vanilla extract and maple syrup.
- In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
- Gradually add flour mixture to wet ingredients, stirring until completely combined.
- Stir in chocolate chips.
- Cover bowl with clear wrap and allow to chill for at least 30 minutes (chilling!? I told you, this recipe is the worst.)
- While the dough is chilling, preheat oven to 350F (175C) and prepare cookie sheets by lining with parchment paper (if you don't have parchment paper, you can bake directly on an ungreased cookie sheet).
- Scoop about 2-2 1/2 Tablespoons of cookie dough and roll into balls, making them slightly taller than they are wide. Place them at least 2 inches apart on prepared cookie sheet.
- Bake about 13 minutes (cookies will appear to be a bit underdone, but edges should be just beginning to turn golden brown).
- Allow cookies to cool completely on cookie sheet. If desired, gently press a few chocolate chips on top of the hot cookies.
- Keep unbaked cookie dough in fridge while waiting to put the next batch in the oven, and do not place cookie dough on a hot cookie sheet.
Video
Notes
Why Did My Chocolate Chip Cookies Spread Too Much?
Did you run into cookies that spread all over the baking sheet in the oven? Here are your most likely culprits:- The butter was too hot when you added your sugar, causing the sugar to melt and creating a greasy cookie dough that never stood a chance.
- You didn't add enough flour. If the flour was under-measured, your cookies could spread when baking.
- Your baking powder/baking soda was bad. These need to be stored properly and often will expire after 6 months, if yours is old, that could be the problem.
- The dough didn't chill long enough. If your dough is still very sticky after 30 minutes, let it chill longer.
- You put your cookie dough on a hot cookie sheet. It actually starts to melt before it can even begin baking.
- Your oven temperature is incorrect. Make sure the oven is fully preheated and at the correct temperature before baking your cookies. Many ovens do not report their temperatures correctly and run hotter or colder than they indicate. I purchased two inexpensive oven thermometers that I keep in my oven to make sure the temperature is right.
Why Did My Chocolate Chip Cookies Not Spread In the Oven?
Did your cookies not spread at all? Did they stay in balls even after baking? This might be the reason:- Flour was over-measured. It's so easy to over-measure flour, especially when using cups rather than weight measurements. Never scoop your flour directly into your measuring cup, it packs the flour into the cup and you end up with way more than the recipe actually calls for. Instead, use a scale (this is the scale that I use) or use a spoon to pour the flour into your measuring cup and then level off the top with a straightedge (like the back of a knife).
- Your oven temperature could be incorrect. See above note, just as it can cause your cookies to spread too much, it can cause them to not spread enough!
Nutrition
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I originally published this chocolate chip cookie recipe 3/21/16. I am re-sharing it today with a new photo and a new video and some additional notes that I’m hoping will be helpful. While I’d like to update all of my photos, they’ve become so well-known that I have chosen not to replace all of them at this time.
Kaytlynn says
Are these okay to be frozen unbaked? Want a quick grab and bake recipe.
Thanks.
Sam says
These are great to freeze unbaked. I always have them in my freezer for when I need a few cookies. I wrap each dough ball individually in plastic wrap and then drop them in a freezer bag. 🙂
Vicki says
These are slated to be the next cookie recipe I try……so glad to find it, as I bought a very reasonably priced jug of organic maple syrup at Costco a while back, and need to find ways to use it before hubs has it depleted just by taking slurps of it if he can’t find another means of indulging his gargantuan sweet tooth!! (I even have to hide the honey, as he’ll target that as well. The solution is to have things like these cookies on hand.) I’ll report back after I make them. They sound wonderful!!
Sam says
That is quite the sweet tooth! I don’t even know if I have gone that far and I lovveeeee sweets. I hope he loves these. 🙂
Sofia says
Absolutely love the recipe! It’s the third time I’m making them in a month. However, the dough is always really really sticky, it sticks to my hand and it’s so hard to make the dough into balls cause it sticks to my hand. I’ve left the dough chilling for 40 minutes. What should I do?
Sam says
Hi Sofia! I am glad you are enjoying the cookies! If the batter is really sticky you may need to add just a touch more flour, but not a lot. 🙂
Rebecca Emmerich says
I’ve made these several times and they are really good. The last time I made them I accidentally used about half the amount of flour. They looked awful when I took them out of the oven but I think they tasted better than ever. It’s something you might want to try. New name “ugliest ever chocolate chip cookies”! My youngest son keeps asking for them. His wife and three of our granddaughters also lived them. The rest of the family didn’t get a chance!
Sam says
I am so glad everyone enjoyed the cookies, Rebecca! I love the name for your new invention! 🙂
Dawn Maxson says
I have been making this yummy recipe with browned butter, and am loving the results! I’ve tried a few other tweaks just for fun or necessity (molasses instead of maple syrup because that’s what I have on hand), and the cookies keep coming out perfectly; you obviously did your due diligence with this recipe. Thank you!
Sam says
Thank you so much, Dawn! I am so glad you enjoy the cookies so much! 🙂
Erin says
Great cookie recipe! They came out perfectly. Crispy on the outside and soft in the middle with tons of flavor!
Sam says
I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed, Erin! 🙂
Cherrilyn Rainer says
I scoured the google pages for a fairly easy cookie to make with my gran-daughter today and was caught by the title. I haven’t made cookies in quite some time and figured I just wanted a cookie recipe. When I first took them out of the oven, I thought they were going to be a little crumbly and decided if I made them again I would cut the amount of flour next time. An hour later I ate a cookie. Then another. They. Are. Perfect. Adjust nothing. These are chocolate chip cookies on yum steroids and the texture is absolutely wonderfully soft and chewy without being gooey. The only thing I may do different next time is give these cookies the best of ingredients they deserve with better chocolate chips and the best maple syrup I can get my hands on.
Sam says
I am so happy to hear that these were such a success for you! Thank you for commenting, I appreciate it! 🙂
Stephanie says
This has become my go to cookie recipe! I’ve tried other recipes where I have followed it the same each time but there always seem to be batches that don’t turn out but I can’t seem to screw these up! They turn out wonderfully every time. I have baked these as written (delicious) and have also substituted the flour for 100% whole wheat flour and reduced the sugar by 100g (still delicious!). Thank you for the recipe! It truly is the worst 😉
Sam says
I am so happy to hear this, Stephanie!! Thank you for letting me know how they turned out for you and for sharing the substitutions, I appreciate it!
Sarah says
I started making these about two months ago and now every time I visit my boyfriend (once a week; we live in different cities) he asks me to bring more. His brother has (jokingly… I think) accused me of witchcraft because they’re so addictive and he refuses to believe me when I say it isn’t magic, it’s maple syrup!
Sam says
😂 I am so glad everyone enjoys the cookies, Sarah! 🙂
Sarah says
Boyfriend’s daughter, niece, and nephews returned home on Tuesday from a summer trip with their grandparents. I am informed that they descended like locusts upon the three dozen I left last weekend and the tin was empty by Wednesday afternoon.
I am currently finishing up a new batch to take over tomorrow, and am also taking the recipe for whoever’s willing to make them there, because I can’t afford to keep up with the demand. I do believe that I have effectively ruined 14 whole entire lives (between his family and mine) with these cookies.
Sam says
14 lives ruined at once is a new record!! 😉
I’m really so glad to hear the chocolate chip cookies were such a success, Sarah, thank you so much for commenting! 🙂
Richa says
Hi Sam, I’m excited to try this recipe! My first ever cookies..😍
I don’t eat eggs though, can I replace eggs with flax seed powder? Or do you recommend something else?
Thanks a bunch 😃
Sam says
Hi Richa! Unfortunately I’m really not familiar with egg-free baking and have never tried this recipe without eggs, so I’m not sure how to advise. I am hoping someone else who has tried this recipe without eggs will be able to chime in and point you in the right direction!
Candi says
These chocolate chip cookies really are to die for!
The worst part is trying not to eat them all in one sitting!
Sam says
Oh I hear you about eating them all in one sitting! I’m so glad you enjoyed them, Candi!!
Sara Bentley says
Thank you, Sam! This is always the recipe my 3 year old daughter and i use and have been using for a few years now. She is always excited to grab a chair and to help add ingredients and mix. I add 3 TBSP of smooth peanut butter to the mix, and they still turn out perfect every time. They also work great with peanut butter, dark chocolate, or butterscotch chips😍everyone always wants to know the secret ingredient! And no one ever guesses syrup lol. Thanks again! Happy baking!
Sam says
I am so glad everyone enjoys the cookies, Sara! Thank you for sharing your addition. 🙂
Gladys says
Can i use half salted and half unsalted? I only have one bar of unsalted on hand. Or can i use salted only? Wanted to leave dough ready for tomorrow.
Sam says
Hi Gladys! For every stick of salted butter you use, you should cut the salt by 1/4 teaspoon. 🙂
Nicci Morris says
Ha! Hilarious blog. My husband complains that no one has ever brought him a plate of cookies. Haha… #firstworldproblems He is so getting a plate of these tomorrow for Father’s Day. Thanks!
Sam says
I hope he loves them, Nicci! 🙂
Erin says
Hi Sam. You are so right about these cookies! Fan-freaken-tastic! Thank you.
Sam says
Thank you so much, Erin! I am so glad you enjoyed the cookies! 🙂
Ronda says
Sam can I make the dough today and bake the cookies tomorrow for Father’s Day?
Sam says
Hi Ronda! That will work great! Just keep it covered tightly in the refrigerator so the dough doesn’t dry out. 🙂